Thursday, May 7, 2009

10 Reasons why its a WOMAN'S WORLD!!!

Disclaimer: I am not a Male chauvinist pig!!

From the beginning of time i.e right from ADAM and Eve, women have dominated the world and they continue doing so but they make it seem like they were the oppressed. They are the perfect example of opportunists. They act weak and equal based on the situation they are put in. 10 reasons why its more of a woman's world than a man's world!!

1. It is true that women are physically weaker, but they can do anything that a man can or rather make a man do anything that is physically possible!!

2. They always take credit for a Man's achievements and ergo " Behind every successful man, there is a woman."(personal thought - that is BULLSH*T)

3. If ever there was an argument or quarrel between a man and a woman, the viewers always tend to take the woman's side!!! WTF??

4. It is a necessity for man to be successful or at least get a job in order to survive, but for a woman, they can just lazy around. All they have to do marry a rich successful guy and be a HOUSEWIFE to survive

5. There are always incentives for a woman wherever we go, at least in India. Seats in bus, compartments in train etc etc..

6. If a couple is divorced, the woman ends up getting everything and more importantly the man has to keep paying for the woman's needs till she ends up preying on another innocent victim, I believe the word is Alimony.

7. A woman slaps a man, its no big deal or rather he is made fun of but vice versa, he ends up behind bars.

8. Every Night club in the world have a ladies night at least every month. Ever heard of Guys night?!!..Not that i am campaigning for a gay night but still a very valid point. Think about it!

9. They have woman's right activists everywhere who protect the interest of woman all around the globe. What about the protection of Men and their rights?!!

10. woman can look at boobs whenever they want.. and that is not referred as oogling.. and besides they also have the privelege of having MULTIPLE Orgasms which we men, can never enjoy!!!..(Thank you shammil for ur kind words of

Women are the most unpredictable beings on this planet!! They are the sole reason Murphy's law came into existence! The guys who treat women like crap end up getting them, If by any chance, you end up saying those three words to a girl, she ends up walking out the door faster than if she catches you in bed with a farm animal! So much is the deviation in their thinking that many great people quoted on them. My favorite one is the one by Oscar wilde.

Oscar wilde- “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

I could not agree more with the above statement. I bet if you were a guy you would agree too. ladies hmm..I am not so sure..never been sure about them and never will either!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


This story is about a little rabbit. He was young, bubbly, good at heart and everything his parents wanted him to be except for the tiny bit of detail that he refused to grow up and be responsible. His parents loved him so much that they protected him from everything and he grew up happy and ignorant.

But suddenly one fine day, his parents decided that it was time for them to let him go and know the world for himself. so the young rabbit headed south-east looking for his luck and destiny. But unaware of the various traps hidden in the path, he fell into a pit on the way, he desperately tried getting out of it for hours and hours without any luck. He became more and more desperate and scared. As the hours went by, he started becoming hungry. That is when he noticed a carrot in the pit. famished and tired, he had the whole carrot and went to sleep. The next day, when he woke up, he was surprised to see the carrot whole again. Once again, he does the same thing and goes to sleep. To his utmost wonder, it happens again. It is at that time he realised, it was magical. The rabbit was still down in the pit! but he did not mind being there as long as he had that magic carrot.

Two months, he survived on that magical carrot. Then suddenly one fine day, an earthquake occurs. A couple of rocks fell into the pit one over the other, almost like a stairway. The rabbit was thrilled. He was free at last. He jumped out immediately. He took the carrot with him also. He kept walking for a place that he liked. He was never satisfied though. The carrot was his only companion and the only thing that kept him alive.

A month after he escaped from the pit. The rabbit reaches a town. The town really fascinated him. He was so fascinated by it that he never wanted to go back to where he came from. He saw a lot of people there too. It is then that in the crowd that he saw the BIGGEST CARROT he had ever seen. He ran to it. He wanted it so bad. He tried carrying it but he couldnt. The only way he could actually carry it was only if he discarded the magical carrot. Overcome with desire, he threw the magical carrot out and took the big carrot along with him. He dragged it all the way back to the forest as he knew he could not live in the town forever. As soon as he reached the jungle, he was tired and also famished with all the work he had done. He took a big bite of that big juicy carrot only to realize that it was a PLASTIC SHOWPIECE. He also then realized that he never needed this. It was something he wanted. He needed that magic carrot again to survive. he runs back to the city where he had left it. but Alas, it was not there.

He desperately searched for it for hours. Knowing the intensity of his foolishness, he kept walking back to the forest. It is at that time he saw a little orange thing on the side. It was the magic carrot. He could recognize it from anywhere. He hugs it very dearly, takes it back with him to the forest and as usual he eats it and sleeps off.

The next day morning, the rabbit woke up, did all his daily routines and when it was time for his breakfast took the magic carrot but to his surprise the carrot never grew back. He waited for hours, then days and then months, but to this day it hasnt grown back. The rabbit to this day regrets his mistake. Wondering how I know this?!!..I AM THAT RABBIT!!!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Journey!! Part 1:From Calicut to Cochin

Well, Folks, I am in Kuwait right now! The place I consider my home. As many of you know, I was born and bought up in Kuwait. It has been over an year since I had last been here. I would have been here earlier had it not been for the freaking major project evaluation. Certain things have changed over here leaving me in utter despair, but again there are certain things that are still intact giving me a ray of hope or rather a sigh of relief.

Well, My journey from Calicut was indeed a tale. I boarded a KSRTC bus from Calicut to Ernakulam( from where I was supposed to take the flight). Things went pretty well from Calicut to thrissur where I was all alone on a 3 seater bench!! I was literally sleeping on the seat. But to my horror, Two hefty fat gentlemen got in at Thrissur. For our convenience, lets call them Billy and Bob. As I saw them approach towards my seat, I knew I had to make a choice of the seats before they did!! I opted for the window seat in case things got a little sweaty. As I proceeded to make my thought into action, to my horror I found myself already at the window seat quicker than I actually anticipated. Besides this I also felt my right leg being crushed against the frame of the bus before it became numb after which I did not feel it at all. I really wanted to give both Billy and Bob the address of the nearest gym with a special note which said that I have nothing against obese people but again I did not want them to use me as a punching bag for the rest of the journey.

Striking a conversation in the bus is perhaps the most suffocating thing to do. I have been in all sorts of situations. Some of them are listed below:

1. A Tamilian dude who talked to me in tamil for 3 hours. I didnt understand a word he said. I even tried telling him that I didnt know tamil, but clearly HE REFUSED TO BELIEVE ME!!

2. An Astrologer- He read my palm and told me that I was a lazy person with a lot of luck. I told him to tell me something I dont know. I mean most guys in their early twenties are lazy. You dont need my palm to predict that.

3. An old man who served as an officer in some wildlife sanctuary. He told me stories of Balu, Mowgli, Bageetha and some other animals and birds right from the year he joined. I believe it was 1975 or somthing. I WASNT EVEN BORN THEN!!

Most of the times, I dont start a conversation. I use my north Indian complexion and the bits and pieces of Hindi I know to avoid them. But in case I get caught in one, then I try yawning and looking elsewhere to avoid continuing the conversation. Bob was sitting right beside me. He was a fat man in his mid-thirties, medium complexion, thick moustache and HE SMELLED LIKE SOCKS!! I could not turn to his side leaving me with a stiff neck for the next two days. When I thought things couldnt get any worse, there again MURPHY's LAW was proved again. Half way through the journey, I felt this sudden jolt of pressure on my left shoulder. Alas, Bob fell asleep and his head had unknowingly landed on my shoulders. It was so annoying and at the same time embarrassing too. I tried pushing him over to billy's shoulder but obviously his head weighed more than double my whole body weight. The only way, I got him to swing was by moving front and back. After he hit his head twice, he swung over to billy's shoulders and remained there for the rest of the journey. They really looked perfect for each other in that frame.

I reached kaloor at around 8.30 that night, took the last bus to my house at 9.10pm. Things went pretty smooth there other than the part where I fell on a completely drunk stranger as the bus moved.( I was carrying 3 bags and the driver was driving as if there was no tomorrow). He asked me at which position I played for the kerala soccer team but I guess that's his way of saying "NICE LEGS".

Anyways, I was so glad to finally reach home after that tedious travel. Unfortunately, My joy didnt last long. WHAT HAPPENED??! Find out in "The Journey part 2". Coming soon only on

Sunday, December 7, 2008

The 'Righteous' wrong and the 'fallacious' fact

"Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly"-

Francis Bacon.

From most people's view, I would say the past 2 months of my life has been governed by this quote. I frantically find myself at a place that I never imagined I would be. If I were to be compared with myself now and two years ago, the change is clearly discernible. The change in my perspective is the most significant of them all. Well, the important question I asked myself was " AM I UNHAPPY WITH THIS?!"

I would be lying if I said I was least bothered about this. Well, I was bothered because the society was!! I felt like they were conspicuously plotting against me. Everywhere I went I could see people smiling or greeting me but as soon as I turned my back, I could visualize them murmuring and gossiping. At first, I thought I was just being paranoid, but when I realized word was spreading fast and when certain of my "close" friends came and asked me if the things that they had heard were true. Well, that is when I realized that my instincts were always good!!

The fact of the matter is "Nobody can define RIGHT or WRONG perfectly!!" To some people, Drinking, Thinking green all are just another way of killing time. "Hobby" or "Past time" is what they refer it to as! To others it is the greatest evil known to mankind making them malevolent towards those who perform the above cited rituals. While there are still another set of people who change their opinion from one group to another supporting the majority in the group(SPINELESS CUM BAGS!!).

Well, Most of us come into one of the above mentioned categories. So I ask u again "Who among us can say what is Right and Wrong?!!" it is so evident that all the three groups are flawed in their own way.

"RIGHT" AND "WRONG" is a matter of perspective. It is not fixed. It varies with people. One man's Right maybe another man's Wrong. If Right and wrong were fixed, then Earth would have been equivalent to Heaven.

So The change that I have undergone, for the better or worse?! Truth of the matter is I really Do not know what the majority opinion is!!
All I can say is that your life revolves around you and not around other people and their opinions " YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR LIFE, LOVE, LAUGHTER, FATE and DEEDS, SO LIVE YOUR LIFE TO YOUR FANCIES AND WHIMS"

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Feelings Undiminished!!

"A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FOREVER!" said John Keats! In one of my previous posts I had stated that "Nothing lasts forever!!" and I still stand by that!! At least till I am not proved otherwise!!

                        A few days back, I saw something beautiful!! It was not the first time I have seen ‘it’. I have always thought of ‘it’ to be wonderful and beautiful but I was never sure! I thought that there would always be ‘something’ or ‘someone’ else in this world that would or could replace ‘it’!!

                       Clad in a layer of saffron and red, ‘It’ was like the warmth of the sun in a cold and chilly place! An Oasis in a dry and barren land. Light in a dark and haunted place. The mere sight brought a smile on my face filling my heart with eternal bliss. I have never been out of words (VIVAS & interviews excluded) but the only word that came out of my mouth was “WOW”! I desperately tried to think of other words but my mind was fixed at the sight! My eyes refused to move away! I yearned for ‘it’ to be mine forever. That moment was also the first time that my helplessness made me happy!

                Like I said, its been a few days!! But the sight still remains intact. I feel all the same emotions whenever I think about it! Its like having a DEJAVU every time I think about it! To be frank, I love this feeling. I have thought about 'it' at least 10 times over the past 3 days. I simply wish  this would last forever even if it means I would be wrong in making that statement which would consequently turn out to be fallacious.

                        As expected, Most of you will be wondering ‘what’ or ‘who’ the word ‘it’ refers to! As far as I am concerned, I find it pleasing to leave things at this. So I leave that to you!! Use your Imagination and Substitute ‘it’ with whatever you please while I drown in this ocean of perpetual felicitousness. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Past 3 WEEKS!!(Irregularities included)

"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON". I have heard this quote more times than I would have liked to!! and to make things worse, I have heard this for all the wrong reasons. Mostly, I hear it when things go wrong! I still have not figured out the appropriate time to use that statement though and also why people use this crappy phrase?!! Does it make them feel better?!! I would reckon they just do it because

1- They have to say something.

2- Some people feel that they have some sort of edge over other people when they shove up some random quote up someone's ass during a friendly conversation.

Anyways, all I am trying to say is that I could not blog for the past 2-3 weeks because I was busy!(:D) I have been traveling a lot. Went to Ernakulam and Trichy the past two weekends!! Going to hoganakkal, yercaud and Kodaikanal in less than an hour.

Speaking about Trichy, According to legends and myths( college gossip), Trichy aka Tiruchirapalli is kind of like this God Forbidden town in the heart of the wilderness of Tamil Nadu!! I went there as a part of my dance team for taking part in FESTEMBER 2008( cultural festival of NIT, trichy). To be frank, Trichy dint live up to its name!! It was actually a nice place except for that heat wave which could give anyone a sunstroke. I must also say I noticed a few funny things over there!!

1) NIT Trichy is supposedly one of the top technical schools in India! Those braniacs do things very differently..but I still cant figure out "(Why or Who) the f**k builds a fence across a continuous road?!!(NO GATE!! its just FENCE!!)" what puzzled me more is the question "Which came first?!! the fence?!! or the road?!!" either way, its confusing!!(:D)

2) Its a huge campus spread over an area of 800 acres!!..When I mean spread, I mean every building is somewhere else!!(different panchayaths) It takes at least 10 minutes to reach the nearest building!! and half an hour to reach the respective hostels!! whatever happened to proper land utilization smart asses?!!

3) For a technical institute, Its pitch dark at night with no light anywhere!! We have to find our destination with the help of the stars! Its apparently a way of teaching astronomy without actually teaching it!!( brilliant aint it?!!) If its a cloudy day!! Carry a portable tent!! Lots of place to camp!

4) I think NIT, Trichy is the only place with cows and oxen guarding the hostels!!( no labor charge and damn effective,I mean who would want to be gored?!! its bloody brilliant!!)

5) Apparently, The coolest place in their campus is called "THE BARN"( lol..that one still cracks me up!!)

6) Plants do not seem to grow much in spite of the fact that cow dung is abundant and available in all forms (solid, semi-solid and liquid)

7) They have disciplined live concerts and performances!! The spectators are supposed to be seated at all times and are prohibited from dancing. Girls and boys are separated with a layer of the faculty in between!!(WTF?!!)

Whatever reasons I give, I cannot deny the fact that I had loads of fun in Trichy!! The student community there is amazing!! They are smart, capable and above all very friendly. Their hospitality was way above par. I must also say that they are very tolerant for putting up with the ruthless and dumb administration. Their dance troupe is a treat to watch! Had lots of friends in NIT, Trichy, made lots more this time!! At this point of time, I would like to thank everyone over there in NIT, Trichy for showing me a wonderful time especially Sanjay, Vandana, GK, Sarath and Sumith!! I owe u guys big time!! I look forward to seeing you all for RAGAM!!


@ Sanjay - I am aware of the fact that i owe u 100 bucks!! So I guess there is another reason for u to come for RAGAM '09( lol..)
@ Everyone else - our dance team came second for the western dance!! woohooo!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The ONAM Plight!!

It was a cold day! There was a series of alternating drizzles and heavy downpour. The wind displayed the role of a meek breeze but occasionally showed off its mighty power too. Usually, I dont give a rats ass about the weather, but that day was different. I was bothered, especially due to the unpredictability displayed by the wind. I am sure that the question randomly running around in your minds now is "WHY?!! WHY the hell are you bothered about the wind?!! U freaking jackass!!"
Folks!! thats because I was wearing the 'mundu'. Mundu is the traditional dress adorned by the males in the great state of kerala. It is easy to wear but hard to maintain. It is also highly unreliable. How do we wear it? Basically, a person is just rolled onto a mundu just like how a shavarma(Arabic chicken sandwich) is rolled onto a tissue paper. It strikes a remarkable resemblance to the LUNGI. The difference between the 'Mundu' and 'Lungi' is that the 'LUNGI' is much more hideous and also can be purchased in all sorts of repelling shades and disgusting and embarassing colours. The Mundu however, comes only in white and off-white with a golden or black bordering. The mundu is definitely "the lesser of the two evils".
There has been only one other previous occasion when I had worn the mundu and trust me when I say it did not end well! I know you are all so excited to know what happened, but I am sorry, that is definitely never going to come up on my blog!![:P]. I had sworn to never wear the mundu after that disastrous incident. But that day was unusually different, for the first time in my life I had second thoughts to already fixed decisions. It was probably because

1. It was onam!! Everyone was wearing it.

2. The hangover from the party I had on the previous day!!

3. I was having, what my family calls, 'A SIBIL MOMENT' (A brief period of time when your brain stops working and you end up saying or doing something extremely foolish. At this point of time, I would like to thank my cousin sibil, after whom it was named, for introducing me to this term and also for showing me the true nature of that term [:P][:D])

4. Persistence from my friends and fans. Some of them offered to even pay just to see me in a mundu!![:D]
So There I was in my room with a borrowed Mundu trying unsuccessfully to fit the damn thing on. That is when my dear friend Gopalan came to my aid. He helped me adorn the mundu and also gave me some confidence(although it did not last very long). I also learned a few things that a person has to remember while wearing the mundu. Some of them are as follows:

1. Reinforcements are good. Wear a belt around the mundu if you doubt your mundu wearing skills.

2. Always have a backup plan in-case of a wardrobe malfunction which is 90% probable. Boxers, shorts or atleast an Underwear should be worn at all times with the mundu.(branded preferably unless you want to tell the world that you buy your underwears from roadside vendors at the friday whole sale market when they have a 50% discount offer on their items)

3. If you are an amateur in this field, Never try stunts or styles in public even if you are a crazy fan of mohanlal.

4. Always keep your legs close to each other. Stretches, jogging, running, longjump are all stupid things to do when you are wearing the mundu.

5. Never ever get "turned on" while wearing the mundu!! you dont want your bottom to look like a circus tent!! Do you?!!

6. While climbing stairs, make sure you lift the mundu to an appropriate level. Too little or no lift would end up with you stamping it and stripping yourself in the continuing steps to follow. I dont have to explain what happens if you lift your mundu too much. Do I?!

Initially, I found myself at the peak of insecurity. I could hardly talk as I was extremely worried. Half the time I was making sure my mundu stayed down, making me look like Marilyn Monroe in that famous picture of hers. Besides, the cold ventilation from below had also frozen my legs, thereby it would be really appropriate if I used the phrase "MY KNEES CLASHED AGAINST EACH OTHER!!" But after a while everything became normal. I forgot I was in a level four emergency and to my Surprise, I had lots of fun. The day went really great.
However, I dont plan on wearing a mundu ever again, simply because it enforces a lot of constraints and puts unnecessary pressure on you. Why look like a clown in something that you are not comfortable in?? so I definitely wont be doing it again.
unless, of-course I have yet another 'SIBIL MOMENT!!' [;)]